Crack is Whack, I'm Just This Awesome
by supermangageek23
Summary: It seems like everyone has gone off there rockers except for InuYasha who's brain hurts from over thinking and confusion. Come read this crack filled adventure of love.
1. Break Up?

**Okay so FYI if the title didn't give you a clue, this story is pure crack/humor fiction!**

**Not to be taken seriously! AT ALL! Just things I find funny and even more so if the cast of InuYasha were to say them. This will be a romance story between Sessh and Kags but this will mainly be through humor and comedy.**

**Also this will be a drabble, I know that most of my stories on Dokuga are drabbles but I think drabble will work best for what I'm aiming for. So sorry bout that and I will try to write actual lengthy InuYasha stories!**

**Anyway, I've rambled long enough, enjoy the story! I do not own InuYasha, go figure!**

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InuYasha sat staring into space, he was still going over what had just happened between him and his now former girlfriend ?

It was just too weird to comprehend.

He had met up with her with earlier in hopes they could catch a quick lunch together. What proceeded to happen, made him confused and make his brain hurt.

Kagome said "Hey I think your ex girlfriend is really hot."

InuYasha stared blank and confused "Which one?" he got out.

"Meeeeeeee! See ya!"

He had stared after her for a near whole five minutes, he still wasn't sure if she was serious or not.

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	2. What's Up With Miroku?

**Again, don't own nothin. Enjoy**

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InuYasha thought it best if he talked with someone, a friend , a third party someone who might be able to tell him what the frick was going on!

So he headed towards his best friend and confidants house, Miroku.

What he was expecting when he got there was Miroku laying about and watching some tv show. What he was not expecting was for Miroku to be wearing a frilly apron with a ladle in his hand.

"Dude what the frick?"

"What?" Miroku asked innocently in a way that mad InuYasha mildly disturbed.

"What's with the apron and the ladle?" InuYasha demanded in his brash way.

Miroku put a hand to his face and gave a high giggle "Oh, I'm cooking silly!"

InuYasha felt like vomiting at the display and was pretty sure his eye was twitching.

What happened to his playboy friend who bought takeout because he was too lazy to cook? The guy who was adamant about not being seen doing anything remotely girly?

"Oh my, I'm being rude. Would you like to come in InuYasha-kun?"

He couldn't take this! He had to leave!

So without a word, InuYasha turned tail and ran, never looking back once.

Miroku stood at the door watching his friend leave "Now, that was a bit weird..." he murmured to himself.

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	3. Someone's been in my house?

**Don't own nothin, hope you like the story.**

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Okay, so InuYasha was positive there was something up with his friends and girlfriend(?).

Were they playing some kind of prank on him? Was this a way to get him back for something? By messing with his head?

Well, whatever the reason he would figure it out! And hope by catching that they were acting, they'd go back to normal. Or at least he hoped so.

Deciding it had been a long day, he decided to head home and take a nap.

He had hoped fate would be nice and nothing weird would happen, but it seemed fate was not on his side today and was enjoying tormenting the poor hanyou.

For sitting on his couch with a sly smile and a dangerously open robe sat Naraku.

"Well hello there koi, bout time you got here."

InuYasha wasn't sure if he wanted to pass out or vomit.

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	4. Stop, Don't touch me there,!

**How are you likeing the story so far? I still don't own anything.**

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Setting his keys down on the table next to the door, he decided to try to rationalize the situation.

But as hard as he tried, he couldn't come up with a good reason for Narku being scantily clad in his home and calling him koi.

Rubbing his temples to try to relieve the headache that was growing he looked at Naraku.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Naraku tsked, standing up he made his way to InuYasha. Swinging his hips the whole way and letting the already loose robe become even looser, flashing flesh InuYasha did not want to see.

"Are you glad to see me baby?" he asked in a deep voice that made InuYasha want to recoil.

"Um. Hell. No." InuYasha said bluntly, trying and failing to back away from the slowly approaching Naraku.

"Aw that isn't very nice, looks like someone wants to be punished." said Naraku smirking, his arms going around InuYasha's waist and hands grabbing his butt.

InuYasha was pretty sure he was going to throw up soon, and he was hoping that if he did, then perhaps it get all over the male who was trying to seduce him.

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	5. What to do? What to do?

**You entertained yet? I still don't own nothin.**

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InuYasha was no coward.

He'd face or brave most anything!

So, when he ran and hightailed the frick out of his apartment like there was no tomorrow, he wasn't being a coward.

No, no, he was just choosing his battles. And a battle with an over amorous male advancing upon him was not a fight he was willing to battle.

InuYasha put his face in his palms.

Oh, who was he kidding?

He ran outta there like a bat outta hell and was probably screaming. He couldn't quite remember, he just remembered the need to get out and away.

It was turning out to be a very long day, and it was barely noon!

Since he didn't want to go to Miroku's for the sake of holding his food, and didn't want to head back home for _obvious_ reasons, he decided against his better judgment to go to his brothers.

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	6. Sup Bro

**Heya miss me? I still don't own InuYasha**

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InuYasha was apprehension as he stood outside his brothers door.

Him and his brother didn't get along too well on a normal basis, so InuYasha was worried how they'd get along on this er, _special_occurrence.

Sucking in a deep breath, he rang the doorbell.

InuYasha applauded himself in his head when the door opened and he didn't flinch.

Sesshomaru stood dressed in slacks and an open buttoned down shirt. So far, so good, InuYasha mentally cheered.

Sesshomaru gave him a nod in acknowledgement

"So um, Sesshomaru.." InuYasha awkwardly began. "Can I hand here for a while?"

Sesshomaru just opened the door wider.

Suddenly, InuYasha wasn't so sure this was a good idea or not.

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	7. What happened to Sesshomaru

**I do not own Dance(A$$) or InuYasha, I just thought it be funny is Sessh had that as a ringtone. What do you think of the story so far?**

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InuYasha sat opposite his brother in his living room, it was rather awkward and slowly making InuYasha uncomfortable.

Just InuYasha tried to make conversation with his brother a phone went off, as InuYasha listened to the lyrics he found it was the song _Dance (A$$)._

InuYasha stared, eyes bugging out of his head. His normally stoic brother who loved the classics, hated rap, vulgarity and anything he consider wasn't proper not only had a ringtone about a$$ but his whole demeanor had changed as he talked to whoever was on the phone.

He slouched, his legs wide and a sly grin that InuYasha usually only saw on Miroku was on his face.

"Sub baby"

InuYasha heard what seemed to be like a feminine giggle.

"Yo, my dog came over today, I think some shizat is UP"

Okay.

InuYasha was sure, almost like one hundred percent sure.

That he had stepped into some kind of twilight zone into crazy town.

Sesshomaru glanced at InuYasha briefly after the person on the other end said something.

"Kay, girl you best hurry up then."

Yeah, no. InuYasha was 100% sure he was in some type of twilight zone.

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	8. Uh huh

**Hehe, I'm going to participating in the weird couples challenge by stella! Can you figure who will be the weird pairing in the upcoming chapters? ^^ hehe**

**I don't own nothin**

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InuYasha sat flabbergasted and unsure of what to do. His brother had basically told some female he was seeing to come over, regardless of the fact that he was here.

What was he suppose to do? Leave? Go in some room while his brother had his company over?

Almost as if Sesshomaru was reading his mind, he turned to him and said "No, dog, you need be seein whos comin here."

InuYasha nodded slowly, a frown marring his face. He deeply hoped that this would go well, and if fate decided to mess with him a bit more, he at least hoped whatever would happen would be over fast.

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	9. Kagome?

**I do not own InuYasha.**

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The door rang and his brother jumped up to answer it.

InuYasha merely sat, curious as to who it would be, the ears atop his head swiveling trying to hear the words be passed back and forth.

He couldn't quite discern the words, but the female voice sounded familiar, like a voice he definitely know.

As the two talked, InuYasha racked his brain for who the owner of the voice could possibly be.

He heard the footsteps head his way, so he gave up trying to figure who it could be and simply waited.

As they stepped into the room, InuYasha felt his jaw go slack and he was sure his eye was twitching once more.

"KAGOME!?"

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	10. They're all mad!

**FYI the weird couple isn't Kag/Sessh in case you were wonderin, this whole story is kag/sessh. I don't own nothin honey boo.**

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Kagome was tucked into Sesshomaru's side, his arm around her waist and his hand dangerously close to her bottom. But from the look on her face, she didn't seem to mind much.

It also seemed she was too wrapped up into Sesshomaru to notice him.

"KAGOME!"

"HmmM?" She hummed as she finally looked over to InuYasha.

"What-Why-You with- I mean- like what-" InuYasha stumbled and stuttered over his words trying to figure out why she was with his dreaded brother. "Kagome please explain..." he said finally with a near desperation to his voice.

Kagome gave a sigh, trying to part from Sesshomaru to face InuYasha directly, but Sesshomaru wasn't having it and instead sat on the couch he had previously vacated and put her in his lap, a possessive arm going around her waist.

InuYasha was slowly getting frustrated with things. "KA-GO-ME!"

Kagome made a face "What."

InuYasha gaped _this _was_ not_ his Kagome. "What is going on?"

"I told you earlier didn't I?"

"Um. No you didn't."

"Uh. Yeah, I did. Remember when we met up earlier?"

InuYasha gripped his head staring at the floor, barely hearing her next words.

" I broke up with you."

She was serious, like actually serious.

InuYasha scrambled up out of his seat, "Why?" he asked.

"Look InuYasha, it's not me, it's you."

Oh goodness, she was in insane, his brother was insane! They were all insane!

"You're both mad! I'll talk to you later when you come back to your senses!" he hollered out as he made his way out the door.

"Yeah, well, that outfit you got on doesn't make it seem like you're all that sane either honey boo!" called a voice behind him.

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	11. Time to regroup!

**Heya guys! I noticed I have a lot of stupid litte erros, and i'm like legit sorry about. Once I finish this wacky tale, I'll go back and edit everything so it's clear, for now please be paitent with me and review! I own nothin! Oh! And new banner for story! Go to my profile to see it!**

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InuYasha was to put it simply, frustrated.

But to describe the feeling fully, he was mind numbing, head against wall, punch someone frustrated.

Everyone he interacted with today was acting like they had lost there marbles, if this was some kind of prank, they had definitely succeeded in making him crazy!

What InuYasha needed to do was regroup, calm himself and make a plan.

InuYasha's stomach growling, let him know his idea to regroup was a good idea. What better way to calm yourself then with a good hearty meal?

The maybe he could find someone who wasn't spouting nonsense up the wazoo and could help him.

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End file.
